Would You Rather (With Danny Trejo)
Calling all Danny Trejo fans!
If you’re a big Trejo fan, you know that he has (quite literally) done it all. From earning a boxing championship in San Quentin State Prison to starring in hundreds of movies, this “ex-con turned icon” has definitely earned his place among the Hollywood Greats.
And if you know anything about his many, many film credits, you know that this tatted, gruff actor always keeps it exciting in every role he plays -- which means that there have been plenty of exciting moments along the way. Let’s play a game of “would you rather” featuring the many stunts, fights, and laughs from Danny Trejo’s career.
Would you rather have the high-tech gadgets in Spy Kids or the explosive weaponry in Machete?
Trejo has been in many, many movies over the course of his career, but arguably his best and most iconic role is as the titular character in Machete. You might know Machete as the knife-yielding ex-Federale on a rampage for revenge, but the character actually has a much more family-friendly origin: as the gruff uncle and inventor in Spy Kids!
As the reclusive and estranged uncle in Spy Kids, Machete creates a series of innovative gadgets for his niece and nephew Carmen like Electroshock Gumballs that shock enemies after being chewed and the robot-shaped Machete BuddyPacks that allowed the Spy Kids to jet around in the air. Meanwhile, the weapons in Machete are much more straightforward and quite a bit more deadly (think Glocks, rifles, machine guns attached to motorcycles, and, of course, a lot of sharp knives) but no less explosive.
Would you rather only eat tacos or donuts for the rest of your life?
Yeah, this is a hard one: how exactly does someone choose between savory pockets of tortilla filled with perfectly spiced meats and veggies versus deep-fried dough slathered in sugar?
Luckily, this is all hypothetical, since you absolutely can have both. In fact, Danny loves both so much that he actually owns two different restaurant chains; Trejo’s Tacos and Trejo’s Coffee & Donuts! So whether you’re craving something savory and satisfying or sweet and indulgent, you can have a bite of each. And if you don’t happen to be lucky enough to live in Los Angeles within reach of either, you can always purchase the Trejo’s Tacos Cookbook signed by Danny Trejo himself so you can replicate these delicious recipes no matter where you are.
Would you rather live in an antiseptic bubble like in Bubble Boy or never get to go outside at all?
One of Trejo’s skills is that he can play a huge variety of characters (as evidenced by his enormous resume). And though you can often find him playing a dangerous criminal and anti-hero, he’s also been known to star in plenty of lighter and funnier roles throughout his career.
One of our favorites: his role as Slim, a motorcyclist with a surprisingly soft side in the irreverent cult classic Bubble Boy where Jake Gyllenhaal plays a young man with no immune system who has to live and travel in a plastic bubble to prevent illness from the outside world.
Would you rather drink an entire bottle of hot sauce in one go or be able to drink coffee for the rest of your life?
Danny really enjoys his hot sauces, so much so that his Trejo’s Tacos and Trejo’s Cantinas restaurants all use a signature Trejo’s Hot Sauce made with a lip-smacking blend of chipotle, chili de arbol, guajillo, chili puya, California entero, serrano, and cayenne peppers. But he is also a big fan of coffee, which anyone who has been to one of Trejo’s Coffee & Donuts shop locations can attest to.
So the big question is: would you rather gulp down a fiery hot bottle of hot sauce all at once and never have to do it again, or only be able to drink buzzy, energizing coffee until the end of time? Either way, this “would you rather” is probably going to leave you really wanting a cold glass of water at the end of it.
Would you rather get a tattoo of Trejo’s face on your chest or rock his iconic handlebar ‘stache/long ponytail combo for the rest of your life?
Trejo is easily one of the most recognizable actors in Hollywood, thanks in no small part to his impressive collection of tats. One of his boldest and most dramatic pieces is a chest piece of a woman wearing a sombrero, which you can see pretty frequently in many of his movies.
Luckily, you don’t actually need to get your own tattoo if you want to rep Trejo on the daily -- he has plenty of merch with his face on it, like this Classic White T-Shirt, 360 Socks, and Black Flat Brim Hat.
Would you rather fight off the savage monster in Predators or vicious and bloodthirsty vampires like in From Dusk ‘Til Dawn?
Trejo is no stranger to fighting off enemies with a combination of fists and weapons -- even when all involved parties are not always human. Two of his most best sci-fi flick features as hunter Cuchillo in Predators and as the vampire Razor Charlie in From Dusk ‘Til Dawn.
Would you rather go undercover and investigate the biker gangs in Sons of Anarchy or act as an informant against the Cartel in Breaking Bad?
Probably unsurprisingly, Trejo has notable appearances in two of the most iconic television series of our time: Sons of Anarchy and Breaking Bad. Interestingly enough, both of those characters end up being undercover double agents against the Cartel!
In Sons of Anarchy, Trejo plays Romero Parada, a high-ranking Galindo Cartel member who is actually working double time for the CIA. Meanwhile, as Tortuga in Breaking Bad, Trejo is a Cartel runner-turned-criminal informant for the DEA.
Danny Trejo may play many roles and wear many hats, but no matter what he’s doing he always keeps it entertaining. The next time you’re settling down for an all-night movie binge, play this game of hypotheticals to really get the party going!
Photo by Bruchin Noeka: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-of-a-machete-6011489/